Props to Stinky Pete!!!

So, at the risk of making you all very jealous, I have to indulge you all on the fabulous weekend I just had, thanks to my wonderful hubby. Yes, Peter actually planned an entire surprise weekend and didn't even spoil the surprise as usually happens with his big surprises. (Many of you may remember his last big surprise of my 30th birthday party, which was very nicely planned, but was ruined since I had taken a muscle relaxer shortly before for my aching back and kept requesting Peter to take me home so that I could go to sleep, which obviously wasn't an option and overall I was about as dull as an old nail from 1876) Anyways, this surprise didn't require a muscle relaxer and was executed tremendously well. Peter had arranged for his sister to keep Cooper for the weekend, so I didn't have to worry about him one bit. We left at 5:30 AM and I had no idea where we were headed. Peter told me what to pack (comfortable clothes, same temperature as Germany, something nice for the evening, a bathing suit just in case) and nothing else. I was totally psyched as we approached the airport! In fact I was feeling so sprightly, that I made sure that my lipstick was fresh the whole weekend (which this housewife hasn't done in months!). Even at the airport Peter was able to keep the destination under concealment, but that was revealed when the passport control officer asked Peter where we were headed. London!!! (After this Peter had to disclose that he had to be in London this weekend for a planned power outage to test the servers, but he didn't have to be in the office just nearby in case something went wrong). That didn't bother me since I absolutely love London, and Peter had planned a full schedule for the 2 of us. We arrived in London early (it's an hour earlier in London than in Germany), and after dropping our luggage off at the hotel, we hopped back in our taxi to our first surprise destination. Being the sneaky one, Peter was able to communicate with the taxi driver on the sly so I still didn't know where we were going. As we approached our destination, there were hundreds of pedestrians and the driver announced he couldn't go any further and that's when I knew it could be no other than Notting Hill!!! My favorite thing to do in London on a Saturday morning. Tons of shops, antiques, one of a kind finds, and the quirkiest people you might ever encounter (aside from Mardi Gras in New Orleans or Fantasy Week in Florida which I wouldn't really describe so much as quirky as I would disgustingly scary; Notting Hill is hugely charmingly quirky). After a couple of hours and a lovely purchase for a momento, we headed back to the hotel to check in. Then, the next surprise came when Peter had booked at a spa next to the hotel for us to have 1 hour massages. Now, that would make anyone's day! After that we walked for an hour or so in Hyde Park. Finally it was time to get dressed. I was simply told to dress nice, and I have to say that we made a smashing couple! We had dinner at a local favorite Chinese restaurant and then hopped in the taxi for yet another surprise. I thought I might wet my pants when we pulled up outside of the Apollo Victoria Theatre playing the Broadway Musical that I have been dying to see for the last 3 years . . . WICKED! It was absolutely phenomenal. The cast was incredible and the show was even more wonderful than I had imagined. Aside from the lady two rows back from Peter who informed him that she couldn't see because of him (and where would you like for him to go, ma'am?) it was a perfect evening. Sunday consisted of shopping in London's great shops and then home.

That was my perfect weekend. Not a single diaper to change and I got to enjoy the first class lounge at the airport. And I have this terrible illness that forces me to indulge on every free thing that is offered, I had a coffee, a banana, and two ice creams in the lounge. I also took an OK! tabloid magazine to enjoy on the plane. Then of course the first class food on the plane is much nicer than in coach, so I had to have some fresh bread, a chicken salad, tiramisu, and coke. Needless to say I didn't eat anything for the rest of the day! By the way if any of you love tabloid magazines as much as I do (who doesn't enjoy a good People or Star every now and then), London can't be beat on their tabloids. OK! and Hello! are the best ever!!! I am now an expert on the current events . . . that is, on Angie and Brad, Jennifer Anniston and John Mayer, Amy Winehouse, and of course, the royal Princes William and Henry.

Now I am back at the hacienda, and it is hotter than blazes here. Since no houses have AC, I have to get used to the heat. I am about to head out to cut the grass, so that won't really help. But I will think of you all in your icy cold air conditioned houses and offices. And while I may be slightly jealous that you are all cool as cucumbers, I can just sit back and reflect on my handsome husband that plans fabulous weekend getaways!

Just heard from my wonderful friends Christina and Tabitha that they are planning trips over here and want to visit Ireland in August. Waiting to hear when the rest of you will be heading over!! We are coming back sometime in October so will see you all then. Take care and please let me know what is new with you. I love getting your e-mails and hearing about what is happening in your lives. Makes me feel a little closer to home!

Amy (not sweating, just glistening)

Responding to the Masses - Pictures of the Abode

It's another beautiful day in paradise over here. No funny stories lately, but I'll at least give you some updates. Dropped Peter off at work this morning, and he is flying to London (should be on the plane right now) today. On the way, he gave me directions to a new mall in Munich and asked if I wanted to go shopping. Don't you guys know by now that those are dangerous words? Seriously though, all I want is a closet, and I've got my hopes that ours might arrive this week. Maybe if you all cross your fingers and send up a quick request on my behalf to the Big Man I might get my wish. Surely 40 prayers and 160 crossed fingers should move me up the list. Oh, and something to put the TV on while you are at it.

So, I've gotten many requests for pictures of the house, and until things are in a more orderly fashion I am hesitant to send. But attached are a few areas that I am willing to release to appease your curiosity for the time being. I am attaching pictures of Cooper's room and play room, bot of which are on the top floor. A picture of the stairs going up to his floor and down to the living room, so that you can get an idea of our strange split level. The exposed wood and beam cielings make me feel like I am in a chalet in the Alps. I also included a couple of pictures of the kitchen and a view of those Green Acres from the kitchen windows.

What's new with us? Peter and I are on a mission to shed our spare tire or at the very least reduce it to a shapely muffin top. We head out every evening after Cooper is in bed to throw a frisbee or play a little badminton. Anyone who has ever seen me throw a frisbee knows that this is never a pleasant game for my opponent who has to hastily sprint in any variety of directions to retrieve my poor throws. I have to retrieve any of my own throws that end up behind me (this isn't a joke). But, I can justify by telling Peter that I am offering a major contribution to shedding those unwanted pounds! I'm much better at Badminton.

The C man is doing well. We keep trying to trick him into standing by himself, and sometimes it works. He gets a big applause when he stays up for a few seconds. He is just so dang careful. Definitely takes after his dad. His bottom teeth are starting to look a little crooked to me (could it be all the biting?) and all of his teeth are spaced apart, so he looks like an adorable Jack-0-Lantern when he smiles. He has discovered that silly faces are hilarious, so he gets a comedy variety show each night with dinner that leaves him screaming with giggles. Babies have the best laughs (Kelly and Wade, you know this) that comes straight from the gut, if not sometimes from the toes.

We are expecting our first visitors this July. My brother, Alan, and his wife, April, are coming and we couldn't be more excited. We are planning our travels to Paris, Munich, Prague, London and some small towns in Germany including our own. See what you all are missing? Let me know when you are ready to plan your own trip over here, and we'll be glad to help find good deals for you.

Comment on the plumber

By the way, Peter asked me to let you all know that he does make house calls if any of you have any plumbing problems. You can enjoy this hunka hunka burnin' love in your own home, but he ain't cheap! As I told my friend, Kay, I also have a picture of this same German handyman laying tile in our North Augusta house wearing underwear and a pair of black socks, but I have not been authorized to release those pictures to the public. We don't want anyone swooning. :)

The Plumbers Here are So Hot!!!

Just another quick tidbit from Deutschland. We had a leaky faucet in the kitchen and it needed to be replaced, so I requested the assistance of one of the local plumbers. This guy was very prompt, service was excellent, and I can't help but say it . . . he was really good looking. And apparently the exposed crack thing is an international phemonenon. I snapped a quick photo while he wasn't looking. Scroll down or click on the attachment link to sneak a peek! And hey, if anyone needs me to blow this up poster size for your home or office, I'll put in some orders on Shutterfly!

Green Acres is the Place to Be

Sidebar - As you will be able to see, this was written via e-mail before I created this blog.


Sick of hearing from me yet? I am considering getting a blog as some of you have suggested. This would prevent me from filling up your inboxes, however I have the suspicious feeling that you will forget to check it out from time to time, forget about me, and all of my genius writings of antics here in Funky Town (don't know why I just called it that other than the song Funky Town popped into my head and I am sure it will reside there for the rest of the day - dangit!). Am I thinking too highly of myself? Maybe that's because I am spending so much time ALONE with ME, MYSELF, and I, plus Cooper and Kayla. And seeing as Cooper and Kayla both think I am the greatest person on the face of the Earth, well that lends one to feel that they may be somewhat important. OK, maybe not a genius, but at least very entertaining . . . or maybe just slightly interesting . . . OK, fine just a pesky little mosquito you can't get rid of. Well, put your fly swatters away, cause this country girl will be here for a LONG TIME. And just for the record I have made several installments of a mom's blog that never made it onto Cooper's website thanks to ol' Stinky Pete.

So, on to actual items that you need to know about. First off is a financial tip for all you savvy investors. Should any of you have stocks in McDonald's or Zaxby's, heed my advice and don't take these next 3 words lightly.

PULL. OUT. NOW!!!

Yes, with the nearest McDonald's over 20 minutes away from here and no Zaxby's to be found on the continent, you can bet that both businesses will take a huge hit. Many of you know my obsession with those juicy quarter pounders with cheese, and we both know that Zaxby's is purely irresistable. Even Cooper was starting to get an addiction to Happy Meals (Bad Mom!). Actually our last visit to McDonald's was when we were shopping at Ikea a few weeks ago. I was alone with Cooper, and Kayla was in the car with us. I had run out of dog food, and Kayla hadn't eaten all morning, so I felt really guilty that Cooper and I were going to enjoy a delectable McD's lunch right in front of her. So, Cooper and Kayla split a Happy Meal of nuggets and fries and afterwards they were both pretty happy!

Now, I feel the need to take this moment to drop another tip for you all. If you enjoy the tastes of Zaxby's or Chik-Fil-A, then I implore you to visit a little joint called Birds. This is located in Daniel Village where the old Barberito's used to be, next to the Village Deli, and let me tell you it is wonderfully delicious. The owner is a guy who graduated from Lakeside High School with my brother, so that would have been like 1991? And the chicken tastes to me like a mix of flavors between Zaxby's and Chik-Fil-A. My favorite is the chicken finger club sandwich. They have homemade fries, which you can get in regular or sweet potato, both equally delightful. PLEASE do your taste buds a favor and go there!

What's new with Cooper and Kayla? Cooper is still not walking, although twice yesterday he was standing on his own, but after he realizes it he drops down on his bum and continues crawling. Still eating like a horse. I am phasing out the paci, which he doesn't have a problem with, but this kid has an oral fixation like you wouldn't believe. He doesn't care if the paci isn't in there as long as something else is. This translates into the mouthing of every toy imaginable, shopping cart handles, dog food, cell phones, car bumpers, rocks, leaves, dandelions, and yes, even licking the floor. Hey, I said I was the genius, not him! Seriously, it is just his way of feeling and exploring his world. And since he is always getting new teeth, it just feels plain good to him.

Kayla is facing some serious separation anxiety after her traumatic plane ride. She can't be left alone without destroying something, and in order to prevent some costly repairs to our house, we opt to take her in our tiny car with us wherever we go. (Our car is tiny, and I have named it "The Bubble".) Dogs are able to go in most stores and restaurants here, so it isn't really a problem, but she is completely comfortable with staying in the car for a couple of hours while we shop and whatnot. She takes little naps in there and waits for us to come back. I have to admit it is a funny sight to see her sitting behind the wheel in the front seat! But hopefully she will settle down soon. She loves our long daily walks and so far hasn't eaten a chicken!

Alright, I am done for now. Attached are some pictures from last weekend. We were on our way to see Peter's parents and I had to stop in this field of dandelions to take some pictures. Cooper was just nodding off to sleep in the car so it didn't go so well for him. Take care, and keep me posted on you all. I love to get e-mails from you!

German Tidbit #2: The German National Smell

Here's another quick little tidbit to tantalize your odorous senses. I know, you are all thinking that none of my little stories or tidbits are ever quick and short. But you know you want it!

So, there is a certain scent in the air that comes along in the spring and summer here in Bavaria. And it is so prevalent that when we lived here last, I gave it the official name of the German National Smell. Now Peter's family knows it as this as well, and they all joke about it. It has sort of become like a weather forecast for me now. So, what's the smell? Well, as I have stated before we are in farmland. Our front yard is farmland and our walks and drives consist solely of large fields growing all sorts of things. Where there are fields and farmers, there are of course farm animals, and where there are animals, of course there is lots of juicy manure. The farmers take this manure and make it into a liquid form for free fertilizer. They then put these huge tanks of this liquid waste onto the back of their tractor, and distribute across their fields in a back and forth motion much like you would fertilize your grass, covering every inch. The lovely scents from this distribution permeates everywhere, so all you smell is poop. Thus, the German National Smell. The funny thing is that the farmers watch to see when it is supposed to rain, and they all go out and give their fields a good dose the day and night before a rain. So, I have a virtual weather forecaster for rain right outside my window! It sounds gross, and it kind of is, but also just adds to the charm of living in the country. I'm starting to feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor in Green Acres!

Tschuss (Bye)

Stop . . . Collaborate and Listen!

Sporadic internet connection (still using the neighbor's wireless connection which only gets reception in good weather) has limited my computer use. That, and unpacking numerous boxes and figuring out where to take all the trash. Many of you have written me, which I am truly thankful for, and as soon as Peter sets up our computers and configures the our internet, I will be in business and will write back to you all individually. But thought you might like a quick update in the meantime.

Since I last wrote, we have received our furniture. It did not come on that Thursday, but rather on Friday. Peter had taken Thursday off since that was when the movers were supposed to come, and as we were sitting waiting for their promised arrival time of 8:00 am, we finally got a call around 9 that a crane broke so they couldn't load the container onto a truck. I was feigning curse words Yosemite Sam style, but Peter's were much more direct. Since he had already taken the day off, we decided to head to the next biggest town and get my Visa and a cell phone for me. We sat at a fantastic outdoor cafe for lunch, as it was an unusually warm day and enjoyed a delicious lunch with Kayla and Cooper (yes, even dogs can come to a restaurant). For some reason unbeknownst to me, Peter found it incredibly exciting that the public transportation buses passing by were so darn quiet, I think he might have tinkled in his pants just a little.

But my exciting adventure came later. I needed to get a quick passport style picture made for my visa, and Peter and I scoured the area for a good 20 minutes looking for a photo shop that could make this. We stumbled across a local photographer, and Peter stayed in the car with the chaps (Cooper and Kayla) while I ventured in alone depending on my very rusty German skills to pull me through. It was only after I got inside and described that I just needed this simple photo done, and the very nice photographer directed me to a mirror to check myself out that I noticed what was surrounding me. Lots of artistic images of naked women. It was like a 40 car pile up on the autobahn, I couldn't help it . . . I had to look. I tried my best to look completely normal and hide any awkwardness, and told the man that his pictures were very beautiful. Then he proceeds to tell me how he enjoys getting to know his "subjects", and how it takes time for the women to loosen up but that they have a wonderful time after that. Well, that certainly didn't help me loosen up any, and I was glad to get my pictures and scedaddle right on out of there!

Peter has been to London for part of this last week, and while he was gone I painted the living room and kitchen. The highlight of this was listening to my favorite radio station here, Bayern Drei (3). Maybe it comes from living in Augusta for the past several years with no really good stations, but I was dully impressed with the composition of all time favorites on this frequency, and although I could only understand bits and pieces of the DJ's, I am fully confident that they were seriously funny.

Well, it all started with some Funky Cold Medina. Now you can't tell me that you wouldn't have enjoyed that as well. It took me back to middle school riding in the golf cart with my friends and singing about the girl named Sheila with her Oscar Meyer Weiner. Tone-Loc had it right, you don't mess with the Funky Cold Medina. Then we hit a little speed bump to slow things down with some REO Speed Wagon, and I knew that I just couldn't fight this feeling anymore. Sure there was some current tunage with your typical Fergie, Maroon 5, and Rihanna, but who couldn't use a little Wham from time to time. I can belt the melody as good as anyone to Lionel Richie and the Commodores cause you know I'm easy like Sunday morning. And the new Willy Nelson song was pure genious (apparently a tribute to his 75th birthday if I understood correctly . . . funny I could have sworn he was 75 when I was 8). But the absolute cherry perched top of the whipped cream on top of the warm, gooey chocolate syrup smothering the bananas sandwiching the creamiest ice cream ever, was nothing less than . . .

wait for it . . .

here it comes . . .

VANILLA ICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ice, Ice Baby, Too Cold, Too Cold. Well, not in my kitchen. My booty action was down right steamin'! Will it ever stop, yo, I don't know. Oh, whatever. You know you couldn't resist it either. I could just feel myself Rolling in my 5.0 with my rag top down so my hair can blow. You can imagine my disappointment that there were no David Hasselhof songs during this time (as promised by Brad P.), so I am looking to surprise Peter with some concert tickets. If anyone knows when the former Baywatch "hunk?" come drunkard is touring give me a hollar!

OK seriously. Let me tell you what's new with the Claus family. Peter is working both for Disney and for me! He has lots of pictures to hang, furniture to move, and things to set up. But feel free to drop him an e-mail to prod him to get Skype and internet working so that we can communicate more. Kayla is adjusting well now that our furniture has arrived. I swear, one more day without a sofa and she surely would have perished or at least she seems to think so. All within walking distance of our house are sheep, ponies, roosters, and chickens, plus your standard collection of dogs and cats. Kayla has already made friends with a black lab down the street (maybe he reminds her of her old boyfriend Coal) and she salivates over the chickens. They look fun to chase and even I would say that they look pretty juicy! But she had an incident trying to get to know the ponies and she is still a little skiddish a day later. Kayla went to sniff and discovered what an electric fence feels like. You should have heard the yelp! She ran off screaming in the opposite direction and had no idea what hit her. Hopefully it is a lesson she only has to learn once!

Cooper is as delightful as ever. He had a little sniffy nose after the flight, but has been clean as a whistle ever since. Two new teeth coming in on the top, I think they are his incisors. That would make 14, I think. I think I am safe in assuming that most mothers measure their baby's health by the poops. The amount, size, consistency, odor, and color can tell you so much and Cooper's diapers are telling me several times a day how healthy he is! This has to do with his hearty little appetite. Wait, little isn't the word. This guy is truly his father's son. This is what he ate the other day:

Breakfast - one roll with butter and jam cut into bits, one whole banana, one granola bar, and if still hungry a jogurt

Lunch - handful of pretzels, 1/2 can mandarin oranges, 1 cup veggies mixed with about 1/2 cup baby food (baby food here is excellent with lots of different stages to ease kids into big people food a little better and apparently, it tastes great to Cooper cause it gets him to scarf up his veggies), 1 cup applesauce, and 2 cookies

Snack - Another whole banana (he's my little monkey and he goes crazy over bananas), 2 slices of cheese, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

Dinner - 1/2 can mandarin oranges, 3 meatballs (about an inch in diameter), 1 cup of noodles with spinach, 1/2 cup peas and carrots, some bread, and 2 cookies

Add lots of milk and some juice to this and this kid gives true meaning to the saying about a hollow leg, cause his belly just isn't that big. And he is still skinny! Cooper still loves his baths, and has now learned from watching mommy clean up the toys to take the little cups and put them inside each other. But his favorite bath toy is attached to his body between his legs. He did the sweetest thing in the tub last night. I was done bathing him and just watching him play and talking to him. He pulled himself up to stand, kissed me on the lips, and sat back down to continue playing. I'll change 100 poopy diapers and wake up in the middle of the night 50 times for 1 moment like that. Granted his kisses are with a slobbery open mouth, and if Cooper were a theme song, it might be Def Leppard's "Love Bites" cause he does tend to use those teeth along with kisses sometimes. Other than that, still not walking on his own, although he can walk along holding on to just 1 finger of mine. He just isn't ready to let go yet. And he will repeat Papa after us, but no real words. He knows several words, and cookie is his favorite, but he doesn't say any yet.

Our house is a contemporary style split level, and by split levels, I mean that we basically have 6 floors, 5 flights of stairs with 8 steps each, and so the levels go back and forth:
1. basement and laundry room
2. guest room and storage closet
3. kitchen, 1/2 bath, and pantry
4. living room
5. master bedroom and full bathroom
6. Cooper's room and playroom

Cooper has become an expert at navigating the stairs and can go up and down on his own. He knows where his playroom is and if I am not watching, before I know it he has gone up a few flights on his own and I can hear the familiar toys. OK, now I have written far more than most of you care to read and it is time to get jiggy with more housework. I miss you all and can't wait to talk to you more. Please e-mail us back and let us know how you are. We are missing so much with you all, pregnancies, adoptions, up and coming summer vacations, 1st birthdays, home improvement projects, finishing school, and more. Know that we are thinking about you and can't wait to get in touch.