Neurotic behavior, anyone?

My friend, Kelly, put a quote on my facebook recently. I loved the quote, but more importantly, I love that someone saw something and was reminded of me. It just feels good. Anyways, here is the quote, and I must say that I am honored to be associated with it. It is so me!!!

"I'm not great at the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?"

By the way, I am completely infatuated with facebook and have reconnected with so many old high school pals. If you aren't hooked yet, get hooked.

OK, so on to the neurotic stuff. I am sick sometimes, I know I am. I have all kinds of neurotic behaviors, some of which drive me and others crazy (like my list making, which I must do everyday, and if feeling especially neurotic, I make lists for Peter . . . and then I put little times beside each item of when they could potentially be completed . . . I do the same for myself and get so excited when I am ahead of schedule that I reward myself with a little piece of chocolate . . . LOVE the lists - I digress).

Some of my neurosis do make me laugh at myself, especially those that remind me of my mom as if they are a secret bond that we share or a personality trait imbedded in both of us. For example, I must completely use up an item before I can open another one. I hate to have more than one open jar of mayo in the fridge. It taunts me each time I open the fridge door. Peter gets a stern lecture when a new toothpaste or deoderant is opened before the last one has been thoroughly depleted. Can you imagine the "discussion" we had when we lived in our bigger house in Evans with lots of bathroom cabinets, and upon cleaning out said cabinets there were not 2, not 3, not 4, but 8 (gasp!!) partially used men's deoderants in various locations? My heart is racing just recalling the vision and I am feeling a little tense thinking about it. In fact, just last weekend we were at Peter's parents and upon using the last part of my deoderant, the stick came out, tumbled into the sink and broke into about 8 pieces. I actually picked them all up, mushed them into a ball, shoved it back onto the applicator and continued to use it until finished (with a few reshapings in between).

Now, I am not up to my cousin Melissa and aunt Brenda's standards when it comes to toothpaste (Melissa gathers all the very nearly empty toothpastes in the house and puts them in Brenda's bathroom, Brenda then cuts open the tubes to scrape out the rest . . I am not there *yet* but I am dully impressed with the notion). I do, however, have several tactics to getting my money's worth out of each tube. I squeeze from the bottom, then I use a toothbrush handle to scrape from the bottom up to push more remnants to the top. Then I rub the tube along the side of the sink or counter to make sure there isn't anything left. Then, I fold the tube to push out more. This continues for several uses until that doesn't produce anymore. After that I do the whole thing again, fold at the base, then fold the sides in from there. You can get at least 2 more uses out of the tube by doing this . . . and a couple of blisters on your fingers. But hey, I must be saving at least half a cent with each tube of toothpaste by doing this, right?

When it comes to shampoo, conditioner, and body wash, I use it till you have to stand it upside down. There it stands for at least a week, and only after I try three times without getting anything do I give up and throw it away; those are some bad hair days in there. There is also make-up. I hate buying make-up. I think it is way too expensive, and so I do plan to get my money's worth out of that as well. Just take a look at the current condition of my powder and blush at the moment. Mere crumbs, but I am convinced that there are still a good 10 uses out of them to go. Therefore, it would be just plain wasteful to throw them away. Never mind that I spend 5 additional minutes each day trying to gather up enough to apply to my face or that I have to use the end of a hair barrette to crush the little clumps into a fine powder to gather onto the sponge or brush, most of which ends up falling into the sink or onto the floor as I apply, which then means that I have to clean both more frequently. I simply cannot bring myself to throw them away and start with a fresh package.

I told you, I am sick. I didn't understand why mother got so upset when we opened a new ketchup bottle, but I totally get it now.

I would love to hear from you all about the crazy things you do. That would make me feel better. Otherwise tell me that it is OK to throw these things out and buy new, although I doubt I will believe you.