The New Man in My Life

OK, no one is allowed to get mad at this post. As you may know, I was travelling last week to a mystery location to meet up with a man. He was short and bald, which is just my type. His name is Sam, and he is just so delicious I could scoop him up and eat him with a shrimp fork. And, I kind of think that he liked me too!

This is my nephew who I finally got to see after 6 weeks. I had a wonderful week of changing diapers, feeding him, rocking him to sleep, holding in his paci, practicing my football hold, and bouncing that baby boy. The funny thing is that it felt like a great little vacation away from my 2 year old! I enjoyed time with family and for once was not running around like a crazy person all over town as we usually are when we are in Augusta. I also got to hit a big sale at Macy's with my Aunt Brenda and got lots of great stuff. It was really hard not to call friends and let them know I was there, but I really wanted to enjoy my time with family.

Thank you, Aunt Brenda, for bringing me home. I had a wonderful time!!! And thanks, Alan and April, for sharing your little bundle of joy with me. He is just wonderful. I can't wait until Cooper gets to meet him too.

Sneaking Around

I am on a secret rendezvous with another boy, and I am starting to fall in love. Yes, my husband knows. When I am back next week, I will tell you all about it!

Something To Get Excited About

Look on the left side bar to see something new! It is our countdown to Disney World. Yes, after talking about it every trip home so far, we have finally decided to head to Disney World. We will enjoy a wonderful time with some great friends and we cannot wait!

Even the best of us . . .

. . . can have a bad day!

A Day of Ropes and Condiments

Since I never really did anything specific for Peter's birthday or our 8th anniversary, I asked my man to set aside a day for a surprise getaway. Well, today was that day. Peter and I drove to the mountains and went to an area with a big ropes course. It was really fun and quite strenuous. We spent the better part of 4 hours hanging high in the air clad in straps and ropes that created bulges in all the wrong places to challenge our fears and balance. Overall a great day! We had a wonderful getaway, thanks to Peter's parents who came to watch Cooper.

After putting Cooper down for the evening, we started discussing our dinner options and scouring the pantry for something to make. Nothing I presented sounded appealing to Peter, so I settled on making myself scrambled eggs and sausage. Peter, on the other hand, had more ambitious culinary plans. He decided to make himself some chili. Here are his ingredients:

In case you can't make it out from the picture, they are as follows:

- Diced tomatoes (pre-packaged)

- Leftover Fuego Salsa

- Tabasco

- Gypsy Sauce (a red spicy sauce)

- Grill and Steak Seasoning

- Sausage Seasoning

- Chili Flakes

- 1 onion

- Hamburger Meat

- Splash of Milk

To say I was skeptical of this collaboration of ingredients would be an understatement. And when Peter started combining the ingredients and claimed that the onion was too much trouble and that the diced tomatoes may not be necessary, I exclaimed all the wrongness that would come of a chili made exclusively of condiments. Luckily, both the tomatoes and onion were necessary and were added to the creative concoction.

In the end, Peter proclaimed his experiment a success and offered to share with me. "You've got to be curious," he stated. Curious wouldn't be an accurate description of my current state of mind; it is a feeling closer to nausea. Somehow I was able to refrain from partaking.

Cooper CAN Do - Part II

First off, a little eye candy for you of my two favorite men in one of my new favorite pics. This is from a hike we went on a little while back.

And this, with our neighbor's cat.

Lately I have been frustrated with Cooper's therapy situation and overall progress. It seems as if the gap between where he should be and where he is continues to get bigger and bigger. At the same time, I find myself constantly running after a little boy whose physical abilities are getting stronger, while his mental abilities are still behind creating more and more dangerous situations. There have been so many instances in the last several months that literally could have been a huge tragedy and the end of Cooper if what could have happened really happened.

It is tiring and scary, and the feelings of guilt are so overwhelming at the moment. Guilt about what if I did more speech therapy at home, what if I made more healthy dinners and could somehow get Cooper to eat more vegetables, what if I were more pushy with his therapists here, or what if I spent more time seeking out better therapists, what if I just talked more, what if I spent more time teaching him hands on how to pedal his tractor or push his little car, what if I bought him different toys, etc, etc, etc. Then there is this question that keeps popping into my head, making me feel most guilty of all: Why can't I just spend more time helping him, rather than wishing he were different? Because, quite honestly, most of the time I do wish things were different. I wish that it were easy. I wish that he would communicate with us. I wish that he would call me mommy. I wish I could give him more, help him more. I wish that he could do and understand and say all the things that the other kids his age can.

I have to remind myself to not let the deficiencies overshadow the little victories and things that Cooper is accomplishing, because they are so wonderful and important. And I really do get excited over the new accomplishments. What I love the most is God's timing. Two days ago, I was at my wits end at mealtime and in an emotional funk after one of Cooper's therapy sessions, and out of nowhere Cooper looks up at me and clearly says "More" while perfectly doing the sign language for more, which I haven't done in over a month! Yesterday I had a really hard day with Cooper. Everything was a struggle and after a week alone with Peter out of town, I had zero patience left. I actually contemplated laying Cooper down without reading any books, which never happens because I love reading, Cooper loves reading, and that is typically my favorite time together with him. Guilt made me sit down and start reading anyway. I pulled out a picture book and for the first time, Cooper correctly identified and said Car, Ball, and Shoes, among some other words and pictures that he already knew (dog, cat, apple, duck). Then, the ones he didn't know I could really see him making a big attempt to repeat the words after me (flower, train, boat) and I swear I could see him absorbing that information. Those are the moments that push me on and reassure me.

So, it is time for Part II of Cooper CAN Do. These are some words that he knows, his first words, and words that he may not say but can understand.

Cooper's first words were:

- Up

- No
- Froggie
- Bye-Bye

More words he knows now:

- Bubbles

- Cookie

- Bugaboo (Gummy Bears)

- Papa

- Car

- Otto (boy next door)

- Apple

- Uh-Oh

- All Done

- Open

- Juice

- Ball

- Shoes

- Down

- Dicka-Dicka-Dicka (tickle)

- Chocolate

- Hello

Body parts he can identify (although he doesn't say the words, but touches these parts):

- Toes

- Foot

- Eyes

- Mouth

- Nose

- Ears

- Tummy

- Belly Button

Animal Sounds he can make when he sees a picture of an animal or a toy figure:

- Pig

- Duck

- Dog

- Tiger

- Lion

- Cow

- Monkey

- Snake

- Sheep (this one is my favorite)

- Fish

Favorite Books:

- Chicka, Chicka ABC

- Goodnight Moon

- Fridolin der Frosch

- What's Up, Duck?

Other Stuff:

- He can take things to the trash when I ask him to.

- He knows how to blow and smell when we talk about those words.

- He knows the melodies to several songs and will often "sing" along with us.

- One of my favorite things is to find him in his room, sitting in his rocking chair reading books. He does this a lot and it is the one activity that he can do for the longest amount of time.

- He is doing a lot of repeating after me right now. He will repeat almost any word that I ask him to.

- He loves Curious George and will always pick that DVD out of the cabinet full of DVDs and bring it to me. Then he will sit in his special little chair that is set up just for him when he watches TV.

- He can turn the lights on or off when asked, although that doesn't mean that they will stay the way I asked them. Cooper might decide that he wants them off again or on again, or he just may go for the strobe effect.

- He is learning to take his clothes off when I ask him to (still needs some help, though), and when I tell him to pull his pants up, he makes the cutest attempts.

- He loves to jump into my arms on the count of three.

- When I ask him for his piggies, he lifts up his foot and loves to play This Little Piggie.

- When I ask him to, he will sit on the stairs so that we can put on his shoes.

- When I ask him if he wants to push the button on the elevator, he knows exactly what to do.

Let me tell you what is so great. It is so great that as I was typing this post, I had to keep scrolling up and adding more and more words that Cooper knows.

And what do I know? I know that Cooper is special and wonderful. I know that God's timing is perfect and He has a very special and specific plan for Cooper. I know that Cooper is happy and loves his mommy. I guess that is all that I need to know for now. That, and the fact that this is just the cutest guy on the Earth!

One Gutsy Grandma

From the day that my Aunt Brenda told me that she was going to come visit us, I was anticipating her arrival with excitement. She came over with two of my young cousins ages 12 and 14, her grandchildren, and was ready to see it all. We toured Venice and Sermione in Italy, Munich and New Schwanstein here in Germany, and Paris. It took a little work to keep the teenagers interested and in good spirits, but a trip to some water slides, bribery in the form of money for souvenirs, badminton, bumper cars, and contests to see who had learned the most foreign words in Italian, German, or French did the trick. I was afraid that all the walking, stairs, boats, bikes, rain, and subway systems would be too much for my aunt, but when the kids were falling out, she was still going strong. I don't think there is a better grandma in the world. And I am always so happy to be around my aunt, because she is the closest connection I have to my mother and there are so many traits in her that remind me of my mom. The bonus of the trip was the best chocolate cake ever in Paris. It was a purely Parisian confectionery display of sinfully gooey chocolaty goodness, oh yes it was. As for the rest of Micma's grandchildren? Ya'll better start sucking up now, cause I'm thinking of the Greek Islands for her next visit!

Here are some pics from some of our travels.

Apparently, when you are 12 and 14 it is really fun to have a lemonade bottle that looks like a beer bottle. And look at the size of Micma's real beer!

Sermione, Italy

Venice, Italy

Hellos and Goodbyes

As my Aunt Carolyn wrote to me, "When one leaves us, another comes into our lives."

My Grandmother Marie Rogers passed away, after 90 full years spent raising 4 boys, faithfully loving her husband of over 50 years, and fervently serving her Lord and Saviour. She was probably the best cook I've ever known. Isn't it funny that with all the technology over the last 50 years, the best meals still come off of the oldest gas stoves? I have fond memories of campers with colorful fruit lights and a rolled out green astroturf rug, watching Wheel of Fortune in the living room while my grandmother put my wet hair up in a head full of pink sponge curlers (although sleeping on those things were miserable) and eating a bowl full of Neapolitan ice cream, laying in the huge bed of the front bedroom watching the Ms. America pageant on a black and white television with rabbit ears 3 times larger than the screen, waking up to the most heavenly smells known to man and then sitting at the breakfast table watching my grandfather dip his toast in his coffee and waiting for my grandmother to sit down on a rickety folding chair to just a few measly bites herself only after making sure that everyone else was served first. She was a wise woman, who never lost the art of the handwritten letter . Her greatest attribute was her commitment to prayer, and I always knew that when she said she was praying for me, I could be certain that she really was with her whole heart. She has been waiting for a long time to be reunited with her husband in heaven, and I can only imagine the gorgeous smiles on both of their faces when that happened.

I am overjoyed to announce that I am an aunt to the most precious little boy. His name is Samuel Grady Rogers, and its a good thing that Alan has a pretty wife, because Sam is just beautiful. The disappointment of missing out on the birth of this little miracle was great, and I am so jealous of everyone who has gotten a chance to hold him in their arms already. I can't wait until my chance in October to see him for myself, touch his baby soft skin, inhale the sweet smells that only come from a new baby, and introduce Cooper to his cousin. Congratulations Alan and April and welcome Baby Samuel!

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Memories of Mom

It's coming up on the 4th anniversary since my mom passed away. I can't believe it has been so long, and all that has happened in our lives since her death. In the past few weeks, I have had a strange thought pop into my head. I will be going about my normal day at home, and all of a sudden, I think, Oh, I need to call mom. I haven't talked to her in a while. Then realization sets in immediately and I continue on my day. Time does dull the pain, but the sting is still there nonetheless.

As Cooper grows and develops, I find myself more and more wondering what my mother did with my brother and I as we went through these same phases, how she felt, what she remembers about us, what she and my father did. It isn't until you have your own kids that you really want to learn what you yourself was like during those young years. I wish so much to seek her council and thoughts. And when I have struggles or hard days with Cooper, deep down I know that the only person who could trully say the right thing to make me feel better would be her. She wouldn't downplay my fears and she would nurture me the way I need to be nurtured. Isn't that the gift of a mother? And as time goes by I learn more and more that we are never too old to need our mommy.

My mother was the hardest worker I have ever known, which she probably learned from her mother. She had all the qualities of a super independent woman, but deep down she really needed and depended on the love of her husband, which she probably also got from her mother. My mother and father were both great parents who loved us unquestionably and spoiled us more than they probably should have. Her purse always smelled of Big Red chewing gum and she never left the house without full makeup, fixed hair, and perfectly accessorized outfit. I used to go into her closet while she was at work and try on her clothes, jewelry and perfume. I remember many Friday nights that we laid in her bed watching TV together (she in one of her infamous robes) and she would tickle my arms with her perfectly manicured nails. She was the best shopping partner ever, and still to this day I hate shopping because I don't have her. Every gift she gave was made extra special because she would take so much time making the wrapping look absolutely spectacular.

She was sensitive, caring, and thoughtful. She would bend over backwards to make people happy. She would work long days and then spend hours helping me when I needed it, sometimes all night even after I went to sleep. She was an amazing mom. I hope I can be the same for Cooper.

What I wouldn't give to be able to call her and tell her all that she has missed in the last 4 years. What I wouldn't give to be able to tell her how wonderful, special, and amazing she really was. I wish I had done it then. She sure deserved it.

What we've been doing

I realize that I really don't have many new pictures of Cooper on the blog lately. So here are some of the things that we have been up to in the last month.

We had a couple of really warm days, so we broke out the blow up baby pool and the hose. The hose was a big hit with Cooper, but not so much for Peter who was trying to work outside with his laptop and kept getting squirted. I thought he looked like an adorable fireman and Peter thought he looked like he was peeing all over the place. I'll let you decide for yourself. And yes, Cooper is in the nude cause that's how we roll out here in the country (Cooper that is, not Peter or me). Cooper doesn't like tan lines.

Cooper has also started to take big interest in feeding himself with his spoon. This came late mostly because I have a hard time relinquising control of utensils to someone with less than perfect dexterity skills. But learning means doing and this boy wants to do it himself. And it is really cute watching that spoon piled with way too much yogurt wiggle and wobble its way to a face with wide eyes and a mouth stretched to its limit. And if a cleanup crew is needed afterwards, well then so be it. It's in my job description.

Cooper does show an interest in housework. He likes to make things orderly, put things away, and LOVES the vacuum cleaner with a passion. Here he is workin' the Miele. I have a feeling that as he gets older, I will have to check the vacuum cleaner bag for action figures, toys, valuables, and other goodies.

And in further news, I am tenderly going about life as best as possible at the moment with what we suspect may be a broken tailbone and a large hematoma (bruise) on my arm. I am absolutely serious, and I am in a whole heap o' pain right now. To preserve what is left of my dimishing dignity, I will simply say that it involves a see-saw (or teeter totter if you prefer) and there were witnesses. It was really bad.